ON THIS SITE:
Repatriation Articles
The articles found on this website are written by FAUSA Members who have repatriated and believe their experience may help others. We hope they help you.
- REPATRIATING WITH FAMLY, written by Pam Perruad, offers insight on repatriating with a family.
- REPATRIATING ALONE, written by Susan van Alsenoy, who repatriated to New England after living in Belgium for over 30 years.
If you would like to share your repatriating experience, please submit your article to the Repatriation Committee Chairwoman.
ARTICLE 1:
Repatriating with Family
The following information was
written by Pam Perraud. Pam is an international human resource professional and had
her own cross-cultural training company, Global Transitions.
She has lived in Holland, England,
Mexico, Brazil, Switzerland, and
So you have heard how difficult repatriation is from all of your friends…but what does it really mean to YOU and YOUR own children? Based upon many years of working with repatriating families and based upon my own experience repatriating with my own kids several times to the US from abroad, there are several thing you should know about repatriating, especially if you are repatriating with children.
Who does it affect?
Everyone in the family reacts differently to coming "home" and each person has his or her own ways of coping with the changing realities.
This is not just a problem for the children.
What is it?
"Repatriation Shock" coming home is as real and often more painful that "culture shock" was in moving to a foreign country. It has been defined as the shock in realizing that nothing at home is the same as before.
When does it hit?
Repatriation shock sets in almost immediately- most people will say they started to feel uncomfortable as soon as they have the first family reunion or as soon as they took a trip to the local supermarket. People and /or things that were supposed to be the same – had changed or worse, in the case of family and friends, they had NOT changed while you had changed.
What's the problem?
In Craig Storti's book- the Art of Coming Home, he says the idea of going home, particularly for those having lived abroad and dreamed of going "home " for years, conjures up memories of familiar places, familiar people and routines of particular patterns of actions. These memories are enhanced and embellished over the years and over the miles so, it is not surprising that the memory's image does not always match the reality, particularly in the United States where few people, places or activities standstill or remain inactive.
Typical Problems of Returnees
Flack on the job
On the job, the spouse often finds that new people have replaced his or her old colleagues at work. Some people at the office may not have remembered that s/he was abroad. For others, the skills they learned abroad may or may not be needed back at headquarters. Worse yet, some of the returnees find that their division has been out-sources, downsized, merged, or bought out by others.
Relatives Unable to Relate
On the home front, few family members want to hear about(or even see the pictures of) the super vacation in the Alps or side trips to Egypt. They cannot relate to those things. They want to talk about what has happened in their lives. Siblings are often quick to remind you about all of the serious family problems they took care of the while you were off on what they consider an extended vacation.
Friendly Fire
Friends tire quickly of hearing all of the details about your last posting. They assume you are just another "La-Di-Dah expatriate" who was living high on the hog while the rest of the world was actually working.
For Kids, Repatriation is Not a Piece of Cake
- Kids can feel of out touch with the latest fads, latest clothes, and latest slang
- Friends cannot relate to their stories about other countries
- Kids that were initially delighted with the idea to come "home," feel like outsiders
Young Children
For the under age 5 crowd, a move home is usually just another move. That being said, it is important not to overlook them. Kids need routine and as long as simple routines are maintained, a young child can survive. Any move will entail changes- a new house, a new room, a new climate and these all can be mitigated by the presence of a main caretaker. However, a move back home may involve the separation from a much-loved nanny or caretaker, which can be difficult. Problems can be manifested by hysterical fits, problems with sleeping as well as regression to thumb sucking or bedwetting. These problems will normally go away after several weeks.
Primary School Children
For children in this group, the presence of a familiar caregiver, can give the greatest comfort in adjusting to the new home. Because most kids seem to have a sixth sense and a special knack for picking up vibes (both good and bad vibes) from Mom and Dad, it is particularly important for parents to maintain a good attitude towards the repatriation transition process.
Tweens and Teens
Since the teenage years are all about separation from Mom and Dad, any move with teens can be difficult under the best of circumstances. For teens, their world revolves around school, their peers, and "fitting in." Teens want to dress, talk and act like their peers. They do not want to be different or "odd." So all of the language, experience and knowledge that the teen may have picked up abroad which are all "different", are of little use to the returning teen—particularly in the US, where few people take any interest in anything "foreign."
Teens that do not know the current way to dress or the newest lingo feel like ducks out of water. Moreover, in many high schools where entrenched cliques rule the roost, returning teens may be tempted to bond with other outcasts who may have drug or other social problems. So, what can parents do to help?
Pre-Departure Tips
8Discuss with your child the issue of repatriation and what it might mean to them.
8Be sure to give a party for your kids to say goodbye to old friends to bring closure
8Make sure all of your children's friends have your new address/phone/email
8Wait to buy your kids' wardrobe until you are back in the States
8Tell your kids to minimize the discussion of life abroad unless specifically asked
8Explain to them that they have changed and so have their friends at home
After Arrival Tips
8Keep up contact with friends, former nannies, or caretakers living abroad
8Encourage your kids to continue languages learned abroad
8Encourage them to join new clubs and activities
8Suggest they write a journal of their feeling at home and memories of life abroad
8Plan trips back t your old city to visit or invite friends for visits in your new home
8Do not expect your kids to fit in immediately, give it time
8Keep the communication lines open and talk openly about the issue